Randi Pandi Land.   

The rules: 

1] The words and sayings of the Great Randi Pandi are absolute and may not be questioned by anyone. Furthermore, the Great Randi Pandi is to be supported and obeyed without question. The Great Purpose envisioned by the Great Randi Pandi is to wipe Astrology from the face of the Earth [while endeavouring to make heaps of money] and you, devoted critic, are a privileged participant in His plan. Proceeds from the plan are for His use only and may be used as He sees fit. You get nothing [other than aggravation and misguided sense of purpose]. 

Pay heed to the thoughts, words and deeds of the four arch-critics Feedle Bagpuss, Lenny the loony, Shane the vociferous, and Lovasip the verbacious. They, above all men, have the qualities the Great Randi Pandi most admires. [complete ignorance of Astrology and an obsessive need to be heard].

2] The Great Randi Pandi has issued a challenge [now conveniently defunct] to all those who claim paranormal activities or powers [regardless of whether they do or not!] Whenever possible, critics must hurl this in the face of Astrologers issuing taunts and jibes such as; 'Take the challenge, What are you afraid of, Grab the money, Walk the walk, If you are any good, prove yourself, Coward, Fake, Fraud', etc. Critics must not fall into the trap of admitting that the challenge is to all intents and purposes defunct, and must continue to find ways to keep up the onslaught even though it is pointless. 

3] Critics must spend time trawling through the pages of Astrologers websites looking for anything they can criticise or take out of context. It is good practice to post these on to Anti-Astrology Forums where they may be held up to ridicule and insulted. 

4] It is furthermore expected that those critics skilled in video making should take material from Astrology videos and, if necessary, alter it to suit the Great Purpose. Any such material should be ridiculed at length and if questioned the critic should use the 'fair use' excuse and/or state that it is being done for 'educational' purposes. Does not the Great Randi Pandi use the term 'Educational' to good effect? 

5] The sending of hate mail is necessary in order for Astrologers to know the displeasure of said critic that they [the Astrologers] are still daring to practice their evil art. Foul language is considered to be an essential part of the process. 

6] The 'Fair and uncensored debate' forum set up by notable critic Feedle must be supported at all costs, so regular contributions are mandatory [in case it fades into oblivion, because the public simply aren't interested]. 

7] Beware of the traps set by Astrologers, such as asking you if you have any working knowledge of Astrology; the trap being that if you haven't, then how on earth can you criticise? Counter this by saying you have no need to know anything - you are a critic aren't you? Why should you be bothered? Be content to repeat parrot-fashion what others say - regardless of the fact that they, too, are ignorant of the subject. There is strength in numbers. Quoting science may also incur the wrath of Astrologers because in truth you know nothing other than what you have been told or read. Again, state the case for ignorance and ram home the message that scientific tests have proved Astrology to be nonsense. [despite the fact that the tests are flawed, the testers ignorant of the subject, and the fact that some are only interested in publicity and making large sums of money]. 

8] Pretend, or even get to believe, that you are acting for the public good by exposing Astrologers as fakes and frauds. Get on your soapbox and denounce them at every possible opportunity. Use the tactics of others who used the 'for the good of all' excuse, such as Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, Pol Pot, etc. Shining examples of what can be done, what? 

9] Close your minds and your ears to the words of Astrologers lest they infect you with the truth. Should you succumb and realise that Astrology has merit, not only will the Great Randi Pandi be mightily displeased, you will cease to be what you were born to be - a critic. What could be worse than that? 

10] While it is fully expected that all critics should use taunts, jibs, insults, foul language, or whatever comes to mind, should an Astrologer dare to retaliate you must immediately counter with Latin phrases You don't need to know what they mean [but it does give the false appearance of intelligence]. Use the tactic of Ignoratio elenchi. [Go on, look it up]

11] Critics who consider themselves skilled in the art of deception should pose as being 'genuinely interested' in Astrology while disguising their real name and function, the aim being to extract any information they can about an Astrologer and his methods so that they may be freely distributed to other critics and posted to critical forums where they may be taken out of context and ridiculed.

Remember, critics have been trying to ridicule or even destroy Astrology for centuries. Don't let the fact that all of these critics are now dead yet Astrology still survives bother you. Keep up the tradition of the blind leading the blind and strive to become what you really are - a brain-donor. 

May the blessings of the Great Randi-Pandi go with you all. [Because that is all you will ever get from him]. 

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